Friday, May 7, 2010

Fickle little sob story

Yesterday was a rough “preggie body” day. So far, I’m totally loving the bump. It makes me feel like a woman. I don’t mind the expanding waist line because I know what it’s for. It’s not because I downed a dozen cupcakes , it’s because, HELLO, I’m growing a baby. That being said, yesterday was rough.

**I know that these are silly feelings. I know that it’s superficial and unimportant. I know that it’s because I’m growing a baby….but still, I was a wreck….an irrational, hormonal wreck.**

It started like this….A lady at school came up to me to analyze my belly and make her gender prediction. This is, of course, a totally normal daily occurrence. This is not what sucked. This is what she said, “I think it’s a girl because, no offense, your hips are getting wider and girls do that to you.” Ok- no problem. My hips are getting wider because, HELLO, I’m growing a baby. Brush it off and move on.

Then….I got a facebook message from someone on one of our baby pictures that said, “Babies are gross in the womb.” Well, thank you and you were once a baby in a womb so booya.

Continue my day with an evening at the gym accompanied by a less than normal self esteem and a good sized portion of insecurity. I was wearing a normal t-shirt and stretchy pants. I didn’t look particularly pregnant…just like I had a gut. I felt like a heifer! I was looking around at all of the skinny, pretty people and felt embarrassed. I felt like I didn’t belong there. I felt like everyone was looking and judging the fat girl. It was not a good feeling. And then, after only 15 minutes on the bike and 9 minutes on the elliptical machine, I got light headed and had to stop….embarrassed.

And the cherry on top----I get home from the gym, feeling defeated and sorry for myself, and thus ensues the stretch mark conversation. Needless to say, I had quite the little sob fest before falling asleep.

I’m feeling a little better today and even laughing at the entire situation a little just please, never tell a pregnant lady that her hips are getting wider, her baby is gross and she has stretch marks.

1 comment:

Leslie said...

oh Kacie...
totally normal.
I remember very distinctly with Rylan standing in the shower... about 20ish weeks... and calling Nick to come and look because it just looked totally unnaturual... like I was in a photo.. and someone was just warping my tummy.. its that in between time.. around 30 its like.. Im pregnant and obvious... oh gosh you make me actually miss it.. which I don't think was your goal with this post... but I think I do... which is a big big deal for me lady.

Stop that.
This instant.
This baby making machine is closed.