Saturday, May 29, 2010

Complete and total meltdown

This has been a rough week, as I already shared in a previous post. Well, today everything came to a head. I was getting ready to go run errands with Ross. I had just finished my make up, the way that Ross likes it, and broke down. I cried and cried and cried and cried. I just couldn't stop! It was horrible. I'm about to be way too honest about why I was crying. I'm about to be totally transparent so, don't judge. I need to be able to look back at this when I'm pregnant next time and remember that I made it through.

-What if I don't like the baby?
-What if I don't think he's cute?
-Do I even want a baby? (not that I have a choice)
-What if he takes away the "us" that Ross and I have had for nearly 10 years? I really love how our relationship is now and don't want that to be destroyed.
-Ross is going to come home now and be more excited to see the baby than he will be to see me.
-People are going to call to check on the baby and not even care how I'm doing.
-My body is changing and I don't like it. I've gained 5 lbs and don't like seeing the scale crawl up and up...and I know that this is only the beginning.
-I'm getting *bad word* stretch marks! Um....I'm 25. I don't need those and quite frankly, it's pissing me off.
-I needed new bras this week because the torpedoes are enormous and Target doesn't even carry my size anymore. I almost cried in the store.
-I can't stand up without getting dizzy, seeing spots or seeing complete darkness.
-I can't sit down without groaning and positioning myself like a 90 year old man.
-I can't sit up from laying down without having sharp pains in my belly. It's like my ab muscles have quit.
-I can't put my socks on without sitting down. Long gone are the days of standing up and putting on one sock at a time. Now, I have to sit down and help bring my other leg up so that I can reach it.
-I have had diarrhea, bad diarrhea, for about a month. The doctor says that it's just how my body is reacting to everything. (See, I told you I was going to be too honest.)
-I like that Ross loves on my belly all the time but, at the same time, I'm jealous. Today, I told him "Love on me, not on him." How fickle have I gotten? Ugh.
-I'm tired of having to eat every 2 hours to avoid getting a glucose headache. I'm not even hungry most of the time but still have to eat.
-I'm short of breath. I can't climb a single flight of stairs without being winded. Sometimes, even when I'm sitting down I can't catch my breath. It sucks.
-Obviously, my hormones are going NuTs!
-My back hurts a lot. It doesn't hurt all the time and that's good but, when it hurts, it really hurts.
-I'm scared of labor.
-I'm scared of labor recovery.
-I'm scared of breastfeeding and all of its complications.
-I'm scared of how big I'm going to get during the pregnancy.
-I'm scared of losing the baby weight.
-I'm scared of coming home from the hospital with a baby....I mean, what the heck do you do with a baby all day long?
-Basically, I'm just scared of everything.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

BIG update

Yesterday we went in for our 20 week check up. Here's what we learned.

-We are actually 21 weeks.
-He's a BIG baby. (Thanks, Ross.)
-Most babies are about 9 ounces at 20 weeks....he's 13.
-Dr M says that he'll be over 8 lbs.
-He's definitely a boy...no doubt.
-The due date has been moved from Oct. 17 to Oct. 6. This is great with me! The sooner the better.
-We are measuring about a week ahead.
-Dr M thinks we will most likely induce to lessen the chance of emergency c-section.
-I have gained 5 lbs. She'd like to see 10-15 by now. I think 5 is plenty.
-We will begin discussing labor options at our 36 week appointment.
-His brain and all other organs are working great.
-He has big feet.
-All size measurements were in the upper 90 percentile for his age. Crap.
-He has long legs, good for playing soccer...of course!!
-He's really stinkin' cute!!! I'll post pictures later but, we saw his cute little face, lips, nose....oh goodness...he's precious. From what I can see, he has Ross' nose and my lips.
-Did I mention that he's a big baby???? Scary!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Let me vent....

**Warning: Nothing about this post is positive. Read at your own risk.**

Ross’ grandma passed away yesterday. It was peaceful, she was a believer and it was for the best. It still sucks. Ross is most upset that his mom is upset. Again, it sucks.

I haven’t been sleeping well. Every time I move, my tummy muscles hurt. When I don’t get sleep, I get cranky…like a 2 year old who missed their nap.

I was supposed to have the day off today. We have an ultrasound appointment this afternoon and I have lots of unused sick days left, so I was going to relax and sleep. I changed all of my plans because the news crew was supposed to come film my class today for a project that they have been working on. Well, they cancelled this morning and I’m here with 77 super bummed out kids, thinking about how I could still be asleep.

Our school is in total outrage. Our principal has lost all sight of what is good and right for the school. He’s out of touch and forgotten that we are professionals and love our kids. He has forgotten that we do everything in our power to protect, nurture and teach them. I have never seen moral so low. I have never seen so many angry, truly outraged teachers. People are yelling, slamming doors and are madder than I’ve ever seen. It makes me want to cash in all of my sick days and say, “See ya!” We are not appreciated at all. We did AMAZINGLY well on TAKS and have not even received so much as a “good job” email from him. Not to mention that he completely overlooked Teacher Appreciation Week a few weeks ago. It wasn’t’ mentioned on the announcements, through email, put on the marquee, NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING. What kind of message does that send to your staff? Well, I’ll just say that I can’t even explain how low morale is….I can’t even come close.

My parents had a rough week. On Monday, my mom’s new assistant started. She was running an errand for my mom, driving my mom’s car and she wrecked it. She was totally at fault and had not driven the route that my mom had told her to, and she badly wrecked the car. My parents have to pay for it, too. It will be filed on their insurance. Also, on the same day, my parents were set to close on their new lake house. They were at the title company signing papers, when they realized that the bank had forgotten to add the “Jr.” to my dad’s name on all of the paper work. There was no quick fix and they weren’t able to close. They will try again later this week. Bum deal.

I’m a hormonal mess. I haven’t really felt this way that much but this week has been bad. I feel like I have PMS on steroids and it won’t go away. I’m cranky, crabby, short tempered, snappy, weepy, tired, etc….It sucks.

The kids have lost it. There may still be over a week of school left but they have already quit. Their behavior is out of control. They are done and so are the teachers. It makes it very difficult to get anything accomplished. I’m going to have kids fail this grading period because they refuse to turn in missing work. Well, that is their decision. I can teach and teach and teach, but if they don’t turn in their work, they are going to suffer the consequences of failing grades, as it should be.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

school baby shower

The ladies at school were kind enough to throw us our first shower! The baby got lots of goodies!! Our guest room looks like Babies R Us!!

The typical shower pic.


We got our Johnny Jump Up!! (and apparently I am suuuuuuper excited)


This is when I started crying. I saw that little Aggie bib and lost it.

25

I just need to document what I looked like on my 25th birthday.


sister's graduation party

So, my dear precious sister is about to graduate from high school. She's old. Well, since she is the greatest person on the planet, I obviously had to throw her a graduation party! Ok, so I planned it...Mom and Dad paid. It was the perfect arrangement! We had it for her and one of her life-long besties, Mackenzie. We all look a little rough because it was at the lake...super fun!!! I wish that I could take good pictures because you would see how cute the decorations looked! I made these "picture tree" things and the 2010 buckets. It turned out well and she's going to get to use them again at church for her Senior Sunday display.




Wednesday, May 19, 2010

New favorite (and affordable) bedding

I think I finally found bedding that I really, really like and can actually afford! I am just not willing to spend $500 for bedding that he will spit up and poo all over...just not gonna do it! Here's what I found. Both are Migi brand.

I love this one most because it reminds me of being in Galveston at my grandparents' house. I really love that it's sweet little fish but not over the top. Plus, it's the exact colors that I wanted. The more I look at it the more I love it!!



I like this one too but not as much.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A grateful {heart}

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how blessed we are, how truly lucky we are to be in such a good place. I was telling this to Ross last night and he said, “Well, tell me why babe.” Here’s what I said, with a few more things that I’ve thought of since then.

-We laugh! All. The. Time.
-We tease each other and have fun!
-We don’t argue, like ever. We talk things out before it reaches the argument stage. I mean, we have argued a few times in our 8 year relationship, but I could count the times on one hand.
-We love each other tons and tons.
-We both have the same ideas about how to raise our children.
-We are both thrilled to be having a child.
-This child is a gift from God and we are more than happy.
-We want this child! He was not an accident; he was a part of God’s plan. (I’m still scared though )
-I get to stay home and take care of my baby! My entire life I have known that I am supposed to stay home and raise my children. I know that I am following God’s will for my life and he will provide!
-God is providing! It’s amazing. We decided that I would stay home and take care of our baby and boom, Ross’ check starting getting bigger and bigger. God is telling us that it’s ok. He will provide for us going down to one income because we are following His will. We are in the process of learning how to be better stewards of God’s money.
-We have a home. We have a really nice first home that will have room for baby! I feel safe and comfortable there.
-We have a baby-and-mommy-safe new car that is awesome! I feel confident that baby will be safe and I feel comfortable driving it, which is a good thing because of my vision issues.
-Baby is being prayed for by so many people.
-Baby is already so loved by us (more than words) and by so many others!
-Ross and I have discussed how our love for each other is the most important thing, and that with that love, we will be able to nurture and care for our child. We have to focus on our love before we can successfully transfer that love to our children.
-Ross and I are a team! We are in this together. We have already started talking about how our kids won’t be allowed to ask one of us for something and then go to the other if they didn’t like the first answer. Nope! “Whatever your dad/mom told you is the law of the land! And, now you are in trouble for asking me after he/she said no!” This is something that both of our parents taught us and they were so right! We have to be a united front and show our children that we are one.
-Our relationship is amazing. I’ve been noticing lately how much we are servants to each other. At our house you will hear, “Is there anything I can get you babe?” several, several times a day and it’s a beautiful thing. We both really work to serve each other and for that I am grateful.
-Our families and friends are amazing. They are so supportive, helpful, caring, understanding, accommodating, loving, etc. etc. etc. They are also very excited about the baby and will be super willing to help once he comes along!
-Our health. For one, I’m grateful that I’m no longer nauseous 24/7 but, just in general, we are very healthy. This lets us work and have fun, so we are very thankful.
-My cats! I know; I sound like a crazy person but, my sweet baby Riley lights up my world! She’s my baby! Berkley is wonderful too but, he’s more of Ross’ cat. Riley is mine. She follows me everywhere, talks to me all day, sleeps with me at night, gives me sweet sugars, and just makes me feel needed. I love, love, love her! (Probably an unhealthy amount)

I’m certain that I’m missing a million things to be grateful for, but these are what come to mind right now. What are you thankful for?

Sunday, May 16, 2010

My birthday cake!!!

We celebrated my birthday on Friday night with my best friend, Sarah and her hubby Danny (Ross' racquetball partner in crime). We went out for a really nice dinner and then went back to their house where she surprised me with the cutest birthday cake ever and presents that she bought last summer and has been saving! She's super thoughtful, in case you couldn't tell. Here are a few pictures of the night and the cake! SO CUTE! And, I think that she's officially started a tradition because this makes 2 years in a row that she's made me a cake! LOVE YOU SARAH!!!




Birthday Weekend in Granbury

This weekend we took a little birthday trip! Ross planned the whole thing and we had such a fabulous time. We stayed at the Hilton overlooking Lake Granbury, walked around the cute little downtown and WENT TO A SAFARI!!! I've wanted to go to this thing since we moved to DFW and this weekend we went! It was amazing. We had giraffes, zebras and other amazing animals eating out of our hands!!!! It was a wonderful birthday, to say the least!!!!

Video of my hand feeding the giraffe out the sunroof of the car!
video

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Dear baby boy,

Night before last, May 10, we found out that we were going to be having a SON! A SON. Wow. Your daddy has been walking around with a huge smile on his face, whistling and humming, so incredibly proud and happy. We have been telling each other, “You’re going to have a SON!” And then we smile and laugh and hug. I wish that you could see the smile on your daddy’s face. He just can’t stop! We are so happy about having you in our lives. We are beyond thrilled! Your daddy is going to have a son and I’m going to have “my boys.” Daddy says that I’m outnumbered but I see it as having more boys to protect and love me!!

Before we even left the parking lot of the ultrasound, we called all of our family members! They’re SO happy!! Sarah and Stephen really wanted you to be a boy so that they can teach you about outdoorsy stuff. Pops wants to teach you to fish and Nana just wants to love on you as much as possible! Papoo and Yaya can’t wait! Papoo thought you’d be a girl and Yaya predicted correctly. She said that she won  Maw keeps texting me that she’s over the moon. Doc didn’t say much; he usually takes a few days to process big news. He did say, however, that he wants to take you hiking and camping like he did for your daddy. Baby boy, you are loved. You are loved. You are loved. You have so many people praying for you and your safe arrival. You. Are. Loved.

Yesterday we got to tell our coworkers and I told my students. My teammates and I wore blue to tell the kiddos! They all rushed up the stairs in the morning to see what I was wearing. I told them that I’d either wear blue or pink, depending on what we found out! You should have seen their faces and excitement! The only bad thing is that I lost the bet and have to watch Star Wars! But for you, baby, anything!

And, by the way, you moved around so much today! I don’t know if it was what I ate, or if you just wanted me to know you were there, but I fully enjoyed feeling you dance around in there.

Love,
Momma

Birthday surprise!

For my birthday we had an extra sonogram done to determine the gender. It’s what I wanted so badly!! We went in and you were not cooperating. You had your hand covering your “part,” you were sleeping and we couldn’t see what was going on! At first the lady said that she couldn’t see anything so, she thought that you were a girl but, it just didn’t feel right. Daddy and I looked at each other and were like, “Um…check again.” The lady jiggled my belly to wake you up and then you showed us what you were….3 times! She said, “Wow----nope! That’s definitely not a girl. I’m not usually this certain about the gender but this is definitely a boy!” Daddy got tears in his eyes and I said, “I knew it! I was right!” Then we celebrated with kisses and loving on the belly. Yeah! We’re having a son!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

{pre}Mother's Day

My sweet husband got me a Mother's Day present to celebrate the upcoming baby boy! I told him that I felt odd celebrating without actually having a baby, but he insisted....so sweet! We got a Willow Tree figurine for our wedding and our nativity scene is from WT as well. He said that he liked those so much he wanted to get us another. Here's what he got me! I love how it's so serene and joyful!

Monday, May 10, 2010

IT'S A BOY

IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!
IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY! IT'S A BOY!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Sister's Graduation Quilt

Have I ever mentioned how much I love my sister? Almost every post, you say? Oh yeah...That's right. Well, Sarah wanted me to make her a quilt for high school graduation. It will be what she uses as her bedding in college. The process began at Thanksgiving time and got all finished this past week. Ross' mom sewed the binding for me, just like her mom did for her. Sweet, huh? It is incredibly difficult to get a good picture of it, partially because it is really big and also because the colors don't show up as vibrantly as they really are. Either way, here are some pics.

Attempt at full quilt pic


Close up of backing detail (Chocolate brown with kiwi green stitching)


Ruffle Accent Pillow


Matching pillowcase

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Prediction: Boy

I just want to go on the record to state that I'm predicting that it's a boy. I haven't had that "feeling" until recently, when I just began to think that it's a boy. I have no basis for my feelings...it's just a feeling. If the little bean will cooperate, we will find out on Monday at 5:30! If I'm wrong, I will be quite surprised and will eat some humble pie and accept that I was wrong. Either way, we will be THRILLED! I just wanted to publicly state my bet.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Fickle little sob story

Yesterday was a rough “preggie body” day. So far, I’m totally loving the bump. It makes me feel like a woman. I don’t mind the expanding waist line because I know what it’s for. It’s not because I downed a dozen cupcakes , it’s because, HELLO, I’m growing a baby. That being said, yesterday was rough.

**I know that these are silly feelings. I know that it’s superficial and unimportant. I know that it’s because I’m growing a baby….but still, I was a wreck….an irrational, hormonal wreck.**

It started like this….A lady at school came up to me to analyze my belly and make her gender prediction. This is, of course, a totally normal daily occurrence. This is not what sucked. This is what she said, “I think it’s a girl because, no offense, your hips are getting wider and girls do that to you.” Ok- no problem. My hips are getting wider because, HELLO, I’m growing a baby. Brush it off and move on.

Then….I got a facebook message from someone on one of our baby pictures that said, “Babies are gross in the womb.” Well, thank you and you were once a baby in a womb so booya.

Continue my day with an evening at the gym accompanied by a less than normal self esteem and a good sized portion of insecurity. I was wearing a normal t-shirt and stretchy pants. I didn’t look particularly pregnant…just like I had a gut. I felt like a heifer! I was looking around at all of the skinny, pretty people and felt embarrassed. I felt like I didn’t belong there. I felt like everyone was looking and judging the fat girl. It was not a good feeling. And then, after only 15 minutes on the bike and 9 minutes on the elliptical machine, I got light headed and had to stop….embarrassed.

And the cherry on top----I get home from the gym, feeling defeated and sorry for myself, and thus ensues the stretch mark conversation. Needless to say, I had quite the little sob fest before falling asleep.

I’m feeling a little better today and even laughing at the entire situation a little just please, never tell a pregnant lady that her hips are getting wider, her baby is gross and she has stretch marks.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Streeeeetch Marks

Tonight went like this.

Ross: Babe, what are those?
Me: (hanging my head) Stretch marks...from the baby....thanks for noticing :(
Ross: Well, we should stay on top of those. I've read about them in my book. I think you are supposed to use vitamin E oil. (of course said out of complete love and innocence)
Me: Yeah, you're right. (dying a little inside)

I know he has no clue that stretch marks are a sensitive subject for those who are preggo, and it doesn't help that I am super emotional, but ugh....Yes, I have 3 stretch marks on the side of my hip. Thanks for noticing.

**Edit: Ross calls me into the bedroom shortly after this conversation and humbly apologizes. He was deeply sorry. He honestly didn't know what the marks were and he was concerned that I had hurt myself. He was trying to look out for me and really, it was sweet. I'm just a hormonal wreck and didn't take it well.

Thinking outloud

ELIZABETH. If it's a girl her middle name will be Elizabeth, after my sister Sarah Elizabeth, who is my soul mate, best friend, other half. This has been the plan since April 14, 1992...Sarah's birthday. Just thought I'd share the one name idea we have.

Yesterday I had a delightful ice cream date with my best friend, Sarah. We go to this organic frozen yogurt place that it directly in the middle of our houses. It's fabulous! I mix different fruit flavors and top it with berries...wonderfully yummy! And, the best news is that it made the baby move! I guess it was the sugar rush, or maybe it was listening to Aunt Sarah talk, but whatever it was, the baby went crazy! I have only felt it "bump" twice before and those were only seconds long. This was for like 5-10 minutes straight! I was sitting there and a few minutes after I finished my yogurt, the baby starting dancing around in there! I was in pure Heaven. It was the coolest feeling ever!! I can't really describe it but, it felt exactly as you would think. Amazing!! Now I want to go back and eat that ice cream every day so that I can feel the baby!

We have an appointment on Monday to find out the gender of the baby! I really hope (and have been praying) that the baby shows us what it's got! I can't wait to post about what it is!

We had a sono on Wednesday. It was super short, just a 2D check-up. The baby was moving less than the last times, but all looked good. It even waved at us :)

Our first baby shower is coming up and the hostesses have asked us to register. I hadn't really thought much about registering this early but, we started this week! Ross had fun "shooting" everything at Target and we'll hit up Babies'R'Us on Saturday. Ross was so cute when we were registering. I was going "ooooh, that's so cute" and he was safety testing everything. I would ooooh and aaahhhh; he would be sure that it wasn't going to kill the kid. We're a good team. We registered for a ton of stuff and after Monday we can add all of the gender specific stuff. Yeah!

Finally, night before last Ross was walking around the house whistling lullabies. So cute. He's going to be the best daddy.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Tales from the classroom: Worms

Here's an excerpt from a convo with one of my students this morning.

Kid #1- “Mrs. Whigham, have you ever eaten a worm?”
Me- “Um, nope. Only a gummy worm. Why? Have you?”
Kid #1- “Yep. Once when I was 6, my sister told me to eat a worm and I did. It was one of those big fat ones, too.”
Kid #2- “Did you swallow it or chew it?”
Kid #1- “Ewe! I chewed it! If not, it would have been living in my stomach because worms have 9 lives.”
Me- “What?!?!!? It’s cats that have 9 lives and what are you talking about?” (giggle, giggle, giggle)

I mean, how can you not love coming to work when you get to listen to stuff like that all day!

Another boy fave

I found this today on the New Arrivals site and am in love...too bad it costs $518! That is more than we spent on the bedding for our king sized bed!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

New nursery faves

I literally sifted through 1,661 different bedding sets on Amazon tonight. These are my new favorites! (not to mention the many other sites that I visited) Dwell Studio and Serena & Lily are my favorite brands apparently. I was drawn to them over, and over, and over....Now, I need to work on the registry for an upcoming shower! PS: We have our "gender check" appointment on Monday! Can't. Wait.

Girly ones:





Boy ones:


The next one is my ultimate boy fave. I wish you could zoom in on it and see the print. It's amazing!!!

Baby Bump: 16 weeks

Here are some new baby bump pictures. I feel like I am huge in the bottom picture compared to the top one. I don't know if it's just what I'm wearing, but I sure do look bigger! Surely you can't grow that much in just 2 days.

16 weeks 2 days



16 weeks 4 days