Sunday, February 12, 2012


I don't know what my deal has been lately, but here's what's on my mind....It's 3 main things. 3 huge main things.

1- Dave Ramsey. Freakin Dave Ramsey. I finished reading Financial Peace University and we are now onto the implementation portion. If you have read the book or listened to his show, you know that this is no small feat. In fact, this alone could be consuming of my thoughts.

2- Total mommy freak out. I feel like I don't teach Carson enough. I think that this stems from my teacher background...I don't do lesson plans. I don't have set lecture/experiment/activities/etc. So, I totally went internet research crazy. (which for me is stupid because it always makes me feel inadequate and less than a good mommy) I mean, I am very intentional with how I talk to him. I describe things, point them out, we read, we talk, we play with friends, etc. I just feel like I could be doing more. I don't want him to miss out on anything because of my lack of teaching and structure. What I have decided is this...I'm going to put down my phone, turn off the tv, and talk, talk, talk to him. He plays by himself a lot during the day while I do chores/cooking, and at first I was super pumped that he has learned to entertain himself. It took a while to teach him this. But, now I wonder (much to do with my current reading selection...) if he plays alone too much. I wonder if I need to be having more structured play time with him and teaching him new skills. It's just so overwhelming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs to learn EVERYTHING. How in the world do you start with this little mind and have to teach them EVERYTHING??????? I mean it's more than colors and numbers and shapes. It's life skills. It's social skills. It's EVERYTHING!!!! Can you tell I'm freaking out??? The other stupid thing I did was go and buy/borrow books from people. You know the best way to underestimate your parenting abilities? It's to read about other people's perspectives because they all think you're doing it wrong....and I'm sorry "Toddlerwise," my child sleeps until about 10:00 every day and under no circumstances am I going to wake him at 7:00 for the sake of keeping a schedule. No way. No how. No. No. No. Just no. The other think I'm not going to do is to tape a schedule, broken down into 15 minute intervals onto my fridge to dictate my day. Are you kidding me? Here's what I will do. I will commit to getting him up and dressed. Eating breakfast while doing a Bible study with know...the kind with no tv or phone. I can read. He can listen. I can talk. He can pretend to listen. We can then have concentrated/directed play together. Maybe I'll pick a skill or activity each week...something like that. I'm not going to print out toddler assessment sheets to give him grades on what we are doing though. That's just crazy! Then, we will do lunch and nap, run afternoon errands, cook dinner and play with Daddy at night. I think that pretty much would be ideal and I don't have to conform to schedule on my fridge, I can still get Bible and learning time in, he can play alone while I cook dinner, and we can have invaluable family time in the evenings. That's my compromise. That's my solution to all that I'm reading and letting freak me out. That's what is best for our do you do with your family? What works for you? I'd love to hear it, as long as it's not a schedule on your fridge for every 15 minutes.

3) The last thing is telling and teaching Carson about Christ. It's basically the exact same rant as #2, just in relation to his knowledge and understanding about Christ and not about "stuff." The morning Bible studies will help me, thus helping him. I also need to sing Bible songs to him and pray out loud over him at night. I think it's a good habit to start now and I don't think it's too early. I pray while I rock him before bed, but I do so silently so that he can go to sleep. I'll have to think this one over...I'll have to find the right timing in our day and for now, it doesn't necessarily have to be right before bed. I need to teach him to fold his hands and bow his head at dinner prayer. We have been working on "amen" for a while, but he's not there yet :) The other thing I could easily do is put some Christian kids songs in my car. I have a CD, I just need to use it. He can listen to those and start to learn the words now! I still remember Christian songs that I learned in the car driving around with my mom and some of those were just basic Biblical truths set to music! Voila! Perfect!

4) I need to chill. He is 16 months old. 16 months. That is all. I also need to know that I am doing a good job. He is healthy and happy and more than on track, both physically and mentally. I am just such a "check-list" person, that not having a guide for all of this is scaring me! What don't babies come with a monthly learning check list? Could someone please do that for me ;)

So.....................that's what's on my mind. It's a lot. I'm overwhelming myself with this mothering stuff. But, getting it all out there in writing has always been my #1 choice in therapy. But, using that logic, I would owe every reader (all 2 of them) an hourly fee for listening to me gripe.


Melissa Woodley said...

You are an amazing mom!!!! Seriously I learn new things from watching you with Carson, but I appreciate all the new ideas you just gave me :)

Christy said...

Oh man we have all been there and felt that way. Can I just tell you one thing I have learned? I mean I by no means "get it" all but I have learned something that has eased my mommy guilt and worry. You "teach" life by living it. You teach about the Lord by living out your love for others in tangible ways he can see everyday. So with that said he will grow and learn and love the Lord because you are growing, learning and loving the Lord daily.

Leslie said...

ok first thing first.
Your an awesome mom. Im telling you that. I love your heart for Carson.
Christy said it so so great.

We love richly when we are in the word ourselves. It will overflow Kac. It just will.If your walking in truth. Cars will learn. He just will its inevitable.

We do not do a 15 minute interval schedule, playing on there is good . Playing togethor is good. Somedays somethings work better than others.

Things I've learned and implement in our home.

Im a stay at home mom, we try to be at home at least a couple days a week. My time with them is richer when I do. Its easy to run run run all day, and be out. But our home time, is when we learn, play, cuddle, etc. So I take being home seriously. We all could schedule something everyday if we tried. Its harder to say no. And be present.

Read scripture out loud over them. It sticks. During breakfast or lunch. Before nap. Not even bible stories or childrens bibles. Read your bible time, out loud. Let him play Duplos and read the word outloud. Its invauluable.

Learning is talking. You already got that. :) But I totally believe it. Spark conversation, Im always shocked by what they know.

Love you, and umm yeah. Toddlerwise isn't for me either...

oh and LOVE dave Ramsey way to go K&R. :)