Thursday, March 20, 2008

just some thoughts....

*It makes me laugh when my students think that 4th grade is college

*It makes me happy to make dinner for my husband when he says, "Wow, babe--this is a keeper" (tonight was creamy orzo with prosciutto and green peas)

*I wonder if I will get a job for August, and I wonder what I am supposed to do all summer until then

*The husband got a new job, a wonderful promotion---so are we moving? where are we moving? where will we live? will we rent? will we buy? if we buy, where will we get a down pmt? will the promotion be enough for me not to work and us to have some babies? if we have babies, what will i decorate the nursery with? will i loose the baby fat? should i start taking prenatal vitamins now? just some thoughts....

*I heard a song today about not being cold, as in, not having a cold heart to others. This is something that I am guilty of. I get hurt, I shut down and I don't want to risk it again. The Lord has been teaching me that this is not the way he teaches. I need to risk it, to take the chance, to love and try to forgive. So today I met up with an old friend and we worked at rekindling the relationship. Afterall, isn't this life about making connections and relationships to share the love that Jesus showed us? I think so, and this is what I am learning about.

*I am also trying to learn to be a kinder, more gentle and lady-like person. I want to be one of those people like Mrs. Blades, Sarah Allen or Erin Kelley, that everyone says, "she is sooo sweet," one of those people that asks questions and listens to responses, one of those people who genuinely cares about people and knows how to make them feel loved and special. I want to be a gentle spirit, a fountain of love, a sweet person. To start on this journey, I will first clean up my language--not that I really say bad words--I say Christian bad words (pissed, sucks, crap). Words that I will not allow my children to say, so I should start cleaning up my vocabulary. Next, I should learn to ask better questions in conversations. That is a very valuable tool that I should study.

*Other things I want to work on....not being jealous and not to covet...not to covet thy neighbor's baby...or car...or purse...or gigantic diamonds...or house...or babies...or clothes...or, did I mention babies....

*Unfortunately, we live in a place full of liposuctioned-botoxed moms who have the body that I had in high school. I need to work on 1) living a healthier life by eating better and working out and 2) refusing to let those people make me feel bad about myself and 3) thinking better about myself, looking at the positive and refusing to go around all day thinking that I am fat and undesirable

*For now, I have lots to work on, lots to learn. I am glad that the Lord is revealing these things to me. I am glad to have these goals. I am glad to be trying to better myself for the betterment of my life, my husband's life and the lives of our future babies.

*I started a book the other day about this married couple. She has no idea that he is cheating on her all the time, having multiple affairs. I am going to stop reading that book. It makes me angry, it infiltrates my thinking, it is not promoting what the Lord teaches. Next book please.

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