brainstorm

I don't know what my deal has been lately, but here's what's on my mind....It's 3 main things. 3 huge main things.

1- Dave Ramsey. Freakin Dave Ramsey. I finished reading Financial Peace University and we are now onto the implementation portion. If you have read the book or listened to his show, you know that this is no small feat. In fact, this alone could be consuming of my thoughts.

2- Total mommy freak out. I feel like I don't teach Carson enough. I think that this stems from my teacher background...I don't do lesson plans. I don't have set lecture/experiment/activities/etc. So, I totally went internet research crazy. (which for me is stupid because it always makes me feel inadequate and less than a good mommy) I mean, I am very intentional with how I talk to him. I describe things, point them out, we read, we talk, we play with friends, etc. I just feel like I could be doing more. I don't want him to miss out on anything because of my lack of teaching and structure. What I have decided is this...I'm going to put down my phone, turn off the tv, and talk, talk, talk to him. He plays by himself a lot during the day while I do chores/cooking, and at first I was super pumped that he has learned to entertain himself. It took a while to teach him this. But, now I wonder (much to do with my current reading selection...) if he plays alone too much. I wonder if I need to be having more structured play time with him and teaching him new skills. It's just so overwhelming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs to learn EVERYTHING. How in the world do you start with this little mind and have to teach them EVERYTHING??????? I mean it's more than colors and numbers and shapes. It's life skills. It's social skills. It's EVERYTHING!!!! Can you tell I'm freaking out??? The other stupid thing I did was go and buy/borrow books from people. You know the best way to underestimate your parenting abilities? It's to read about other people's perspectives because they all think you're doing it wrong....and I'm sorry "Toddlerwise," my child sleeps until about 10:00 every day and under no circumstances am I going to wake him at 7:00 for the sake of keeping a schedule. No way. No how. No. No. No. Just no. The other think I'm not going to do is to tape a schedule, broken down into 15 minute intervals onto my fridge to dictate my day. Are you kidding me? Here's what I will do. I will commit to getting him up and dressed. Eating breakfast while doing a Bible study with him...you know...the kind with no tv or phone. I can read. He can listen. I can talk. He can pretend to listen. We can then have concentrated/directed play together. Maybe I'll pick a skill or activity each week...something like that. I'm not going to print out toddler assessment sheets to give him grades on what we are doing though. That's just crazy! Then, we will do lunch and nap, run afternoon errands, cook dinner and play with Daddy at night. I think that pretty much would be ideal and I don't have to conform to schedule on my fridge, I can still get Bible and learning time in, he can play alone while I cook dinner, and we can have invaluable family time in the evenings. That's my compromise. That's my solution to all that I'm reading and letting freak me out. That's what is best for our family....now...what do you do with your family? What works for you? I'd love to hear it, as long as it's not a schedule on your fridge for every 15 minutes.

3) The last thing is telling and teaching Carson about Christ. It's basically the exact same rant as #2, just in relation to his knowledge and understanding about Christ and not about "stuff." The morning Bible studies will help me, thus helping him. I also need to sing Bible songs to him and pray out loud over him at night. I think it's a good habit to start now and I don't think it's too early. I pray while I rock him before bed, but I do so silently so that he can go to sleep. I'll have to think this one over...I'll have to find the right timing in our day and for now, it doesn't necessarily have to be right before bed. I need to teach him to fold his hands and bow his head at dinner prayer. We have been working on "amen" for a while, but he's not there yet :) The other thing I could easily do is put some Christian kids songs in my car. I have a CD, I just need to use it. He can listen to those and start to learn the words now! I still remember Christian songs that I learned in the car driving around with my mom and some of those were just basic Biblical truths set to music! Voila! Perfect!

4) I need to chill. He is 16 months old. 16 months. That is all. I also need to know that I am doing a good job. He is healthy and happy and more than on track, both physically and mentally. I am just such a "check-list" person, that not having a guide for all of this is scaring me! What don't babies come with a monthly learning check list? Could someone please do that for me ;)

So.....................that's what's on my mind. It's a lot. I'm overwhelming myself with this mothering stuff. But, getting it all out there in writing has always been my #1 choice in therapy. But, using that logic, I would owe every reader (all 2 of them) an hourly fee for listening to me gripe.

mainly messes.

i've come to the realization that our days are basically filled with making and cleaning up messes. the thing is, these are what i call "productive messes" because every mess is a learning opportunity! we take things out. we dump stuff. we put it back. we do it again. we learn that things fall. things make noises when thrown. some things bounce. some things hurt. some things roll...you get the drift.


sometimes we even go to daddy's office to "learn" there, too!


the other thing that consumes our day is exploring. the kid fits himself into every nook and cranny around...the higher off the ground the better! umm...adding the ER to my speed dial asap.

he climbs.


he squats.


he falls and he repeats. but again, it's all in the name of learning....right???????


on a side note...this is most likely his last sink bath ever...mainly because of the enormous volume of water on my kitchen floor post bath.


and this was his first ever ride in my old wagon from when i was a kid! it was really special.

roughly 15 months old

i'll just say...

that some days, i don't find this mothering thing to be very fun.
some days, it's down right a chore.
some days, he is doing good to just be alive by 6:00 when daddy gets home.
some days...ugh....just ugh...
and on those days i feel bad about my feelings...i guess that no one ever promised it would be easy or fun. i had just assumed....and we all know what assuming does.
so that is all. that is where i am today as i sit with a screaming toddler who is screaming and throwing his food and doing everything he knows he shouldn't and it's just not fun. this too shall pass, but i just wonder when...and it better be soon....very, very soon.

Parenting a toddler

I have been trying to say "no" less. I realized that I was saying it a million times a day and someone had picked up the word in his own nasty little tone..."nnnaaah." I am not letting him get away with more, I am just finding different words to use instead, like stop, ouch, yucky, hot, etc. I certainly still say no, but I try to reserve it for really important issues so that it doesn't lose its value.

Monkey see, monkey do. I have noticed that I grab stuff (toys, utensils, etc) from him a lot and I don't want him learning that habit. Instead, I have started asking him for the item. He hands it to me, I say thank you and we move on. Hopefully this will help him to learn to grab less....maybe. This of course does not apply to safety things. I'll grab unsafe items out of his hand every time!

Whining. Oh whining. Just as he started this incessant whining, I get an email from Baby Center saying that my 15 month old is learning the power of whining. They really know what they are talking about! It was spot on. Ross and I decided to tackle the issue right away because it was driving me bonkers!!! We decided to correct the whine. When he whines, we tell him what to say to express his needs. I know that he can't say what he needs yet, so I'll say something like, "Oh! That's not how we get what we want. Say I want my drink/need help/want my toy?" He usually says some sort of sweet sounding baby gibberish that's not a whine and I give him what he wanted. He is starting to get it! I mean, we do it 100 times a day, so he gets lots practice. Haha. It is also nice when he can point to what he needs and says "dat" or signs "more." I feel like I am learning a new language, an entire new way of communication and the little successes are so nice! It feels like I'm starting to make sense to the native speaker! Also, on this note, he can understand soooooo much more than he can articulate. He knows body parts, I can ask him to pick up and bring me his monkey/basket/bunny/book/car/bus/etc and he does. It is really crazy to me how much he knows. It's also pretty scary. I guess Ross and I really need to be careful what we say in front of him now!

So anyway, this is my little summary of what we are learning about raising a 15 month old. I will probably have to look back at this for reference with each additional child. (no...I'm not preg)



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Nothing Sweeter

Lately I have been really trying to take time to enjoy the small things...not let them pass me by. This means reading lots of books on the floor in front of the stove while dinner cooks, taking time to just sit and play, and giving in to life's simple pleasures. It also means deciding that a little messy fun now is totally worth the messy clean up later. They are only young once!

Last night I sat on the kitchen floor and Carson and I fed each other cool whip....and then took baths. It was definitely one of my top 10 motherhood highlights so far!

go!

My word for 2012 is "go."

Go...as in...

-Go make friends with the neighbors.
-Go for a good, long walk (frequently).
-Go outside to play.
-Go to one or more educational/social activities with C a week.
-Go have lunch with Ross more at work.
-Go workout...even though it's not technically a "go" since it's in my living room.
-Go for it! (whatever it is...just be gutsy and do it!)
-Go for that new hair style I have been scared to try.

Now, as for last year's resolutions.
-Run a 5K: Well, I'm doing it on Feb 11...missed the marker by one month and 11 days, but I'm still counting it as a win!
-Visit people in the nursing home: Nope. Didn't do it. I went and filled out my paper work, realized that it would be super-duper hard with a baby and never went back. Loser. Definitely not a win...and not a very good excuse either.
-Leave C in the nursery for MOPS and Bible study: Definitely a win on this one! It was so, super hard at first...but it was really good for him. He learned to be ok with other caretakers, to play with other kids and to know that I am coming back for him. For me, it was freeing and invigorating and refreshing. I love going back to the nursery after missing him desperately and getting such sweet sugar and hugs. Plus, I get some me time and feel all sorts of refreshed. In short...it's a win!

Not a baby anymore

I am pretty sure that he's not a baby anymore because...
-he just blew on his hot food, used a fork to eat it and then wiped his mouth with a napkin.
-he walks everywhere.
-he laughs at burps, farts and tummy growls like he's a big boy.
-he can tell me what he wants by pointing, grunts or some words.
-he knows animal noises...cow, dog, monkey, bear, and sheep are his favorites.
-he can find the toys he wants to play with and carry them across the house.
-he can identify many things by pointing: duck, fan, car, baby, dog, airplane, monkey, etc
-he is obsessed with books. He constantly brings them to me to read.
-he figures stuff out on his own!
-and...he currently is wearing a pair of my(clean) panties as a necklace :/




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