bye-bye teacher...hello stay at home momma

Today was my last day of work as a teacher. Yes, it's Saturday. It was a workday due to bad weather make-up days. Cleaning out my room was bittersweet. I'm super stoked about this next chapter but, will also miss teaching and my colleagues. I may have even cried a little. Now, I'm off to take my first nap of the summer! Yeah!

Tales from the classroom: Worms

Here's an excerpt from a convo with one of my students this morning.

Kid #1- “Mrs. Whigham, have you ever eaten a worm?”
Me- “Um, nope. Only a gummy worm. Why? Have you?”
Kid #1- “Yep. Once when I was 6, my sister told me to eat a worm and I did. It was one of those big fat ones, too.”
Kid #2- “Did you swallow it or chew it?”
Kid #1- “Ewe! I chewed it! If not, it would have been living in my stomach because worms have 9 lives.”
Me- “What?!?!!? It’s cats that have 9 lives and what are you talking about?” (giggle, giggle, giggle)

I mean, how can you not love coming to work when you get to listen to stuff like that all day!

Tales from the classroom....

Today was a funny day. Observe:

1- I had a student bawling her eyes out in the counselor's office because she believes that she is a dragon. She said that dragons really do exist, "It is hard to prove, but they are real. If you believe it you can be one!" We were tring to get her to explain how she was a dragon, ie: what characteristics do you have that qualify you to be a dragon. Another teacher asked her if she had a tail...and she looked to see. (did you not already know?) wow. It was SO hard to keep a straight face during that ordeal.

2- (as I'm eating an orange) Student says "Mrs. Whigham, what if your baby comes out eating an orange?" Um....not exactly how it works.

3- I spun a globe for the kids to show how it spins around its axis. A student raises her hand and asks, "Why don't we spin when you turn the globe?" Ummm....again, not how it works.

Do it like a monkey

The other day at school I was trying to peel a banana at school and I couldn't get it open. One of my students offered to help me. He then proceeded to peel it upside down....According to him, it is how monkeys do it! Haha...You learn something new every day! Be sure to pinch the bottom little thing. It will split and then you can peel it. Here's a visual, just in case.

A pet what?

Another addition to Tales from the Classroom....



My mom said she used to have a PET bull.

Um....yeah....I'm thinking she meant PIT bull...but who knows?!?!

Tales from the classroom

I need to keep record of some of the funny/off things that my kids say. You get the option of reading them, or not...some are quite off color, but straight from the mouths of my *precious* 5th grade students.....Read at your own risk :)

Funny:
Today we were learning about conserving energy and ways to use less natural resources. I got the typical answers like, "turn off the lights when you leave a room," "carpool with your friends," and "recycle." My favorite though was, "wear a snuggie." Haha....so right! (kid translation: you can turn the heater down if you wear a snuggie) I love my kids!!

Kids at this age try to use big words to sound smart (actually, that may be all kids) but one girl told me that she was "totally gabberflasted" about something. Hmmm....gabberflasted, huh? She meant "totally flabbergasted."

Off color:
Also, one that I should not post but will anyway....I got a phone call from a parent. Apparently a child had been calling her son a "testicle sucker." Yes...you read right....Now, try talking to a ten year old and asking him, "Did you call **insert child's name here** a testicle sucker?" SO EMBARRASSING!!! Ugh. Boy was my face red....crap.

One little girl was talking in class about why she doesn't believe in God. (Kacie, bite your tongue, this is public school.) Another little boy pipes up and says, very matter-of-factly, "Well, that's why God made you live in a trailer park." Ummmm.....ouch.

Pray for patience

This has been the hardest week of school for me ever. I have students that don't understand very much English at all. I have students who are grade levels behind. I have never taught science before and these particular sub-populations were our lowest last year....ESL/Science! This means that I am under great stress. I want my babies to succeed....I so, so want them to be successful but I don't know how to help them. I am having to go back so far in 4th grade curriculum because I have to fill in learning gaps. If I do this, I get behind on the TEKS...thus more stress. I ended the week by crying my eyes out. I keep on telling myself, God will not give me more than I can handle....God will not give me more than I can handle....God will not give me more than I can handle....over and over and over.....I need patience...I need a kind of patience that only the Lord can provide. I need the kind of patience for these kids as my heavenly father has for me. I need guidance from the Lord to know how to teach these precious babies. I also need confidence that I will be able to do it. Last year was a breeze, and now I am realizing that. Please pray that I will have great patience and guidance.

Teacher Stories

Here's one for you....This happened toward the end of the school year. I need to start writing them down when I remember them b/c kids really do say the darnedest things....

Girl: I don't believe in God.
Boy: That's why God made you live in a trailer.
Teacher: (inside her head and not out loud) Bbbaaaaahahahahah!

Here's another one from earlier in the year.
Girl: Mrs Whigham....is it true that all of the 49ers were midgets?
Teacher: What are you talking about? (crap. apparently I missed the mark when I was teaching this lesson)